February 28, 2006
1 hr 40 mins awayThe time I take to travel to work now. About 3 times as much as the time I used to take to get to work. *yawns* I consider myself to be a hardworking worker (considering that i'm not paid that bad, I like to think on a positive note) cos I wake up at 6am in the morning to get to work on time, on the dot. I didn't even bother waking up so early to attend a 8am lecture in uni. Erm, of course, that didn't happen quite frequently after year 1, when we had to take compulsory foundation modules.
I work with NIE now. As snow's distant colleague, just across the block's distance. I have resigned to the fate that the age of 26 may really be a cursed one. But at least, he's keeping me informed of which canteens to avoid and how to skive on the job, as soon as I get converted to perm.
The depressing thing is that the time is 9.26am now and none of my colleagues in the same office (more like a big conference room) are here yet. I wonder, is their work hours different from mine? Honestly, I rather wake up early than to end my day late. I'm more the morning person, whose productivity starts to peak from late morning and will plunge right after 4pm.
It's pretty quiet here. Came into office this morning, switched on the computer and suddenly thought of my P.A days in SHS with Mel n Joycey. If Joycey was sitting opposite me, she would be reading the papers and steamed carrot cake in hand. I miss the OUB centre steamed carrot cake!
And soon, I won't even get to hear the radio - which is blastin from my mp3 player now. What I would hear would be sessions n sessions of interview while I fight to transcribe them on the computer.
One last thing, I hate using the computer first thing in the morning. It makes my eyes uncomfy n tired. And worse, sometimes, a throbbing pain in the head follows. *frowns*
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 09:21
February 20, 2006
Love & dating...40Lover's Concerto - Kelly Chen
...
Some magic from above,
made this day for us,
just to fall in love
...
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 15:28
Coffee, Tea and a whole lot of usI was at my cousin's wedding yesterday night. It was held in the ballroom of Hyatt hotel, Johor Bahru. I thought the food was pretty good, as compared to most of the wedding dinners I've attended locally, including one at Shangri-la.
The wedding was a bit like a mini-concert. My cousin used to sing at this music cafe thingy in Johor and has, therefore, a clique of fellow crooners and musicians who saw singing live at her wedding dinner a gesture of warm wishes for her new status. They sure do their trade well cos the songs made the whole dinner outstanding from the usual boring wedding dinner - a good compensation for the long wait to starting dinner. When it comes to weddin dinners, I deem most people are certainly not kiasu about it. We saw people arriving 1 hour later than the time they were supposed to be seated. Terrible.
xxx
Design. That's the word. There were a total of 1 video clip and 2 music slide shows at the wedding dinner yesterday. Mostly of their wedding photos, their growing-up photos, and photos from the preparation for the wedding day itself. All beautifully done up, photos, transitions, animation, music and all. Really professional. Except they didn't have to spend a single cent on all that. My cousin's hubby is a web designer.
xxx
Songbirds. Lovebirds.They met at the music cafe where my cousin was moonlighting. It was love at first sight, I guess. Started over songs, very much a singing-love-relationship. Needless to say, both have excellent vocals.
And the talented groom composed a song for the bride, which he performed yesterday. Sweet.
xxx
In the end, I wanna be standing at the beginning, with you.Enjoy the journey, coffee and tea!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 15:02
February 15, 2006
Sleek LinguiniI cooked linguini aglio olio yesterday. For late lunch. So, we had yummy-fresh-healthy salad prepared by girl, can-be-yummier pasta from me and Vienetta ice-cream from Walls (right?). Don't know if that's a typical person's idea of spending a day when someone died for love centuries ago. But, the point is, I think it's more special than flowers, chocolates and set dinners at a fancy restaurant. And she said it's a turn on to see your partner cook for you. Hmm... *1 raised eyebrow*
xxx
Family non-traditionIt's not just me, in the family. My sisters didn't celebrate with their boyfriends too. They replied what I would have replied when I asked them why - "waste of money, if I like it, everyday can be valentine's day too". Ditto.
My younger sis put it best. She said that if her boyfriend were to send bouquets to her office, she would rather he send cash. She said a bouquet easily cost up to 50 bucks yesterday. And she knew what she could do with 50 bucks, cold hard cash, unwrapped, un-ribboned. Makes absolute sense to me. Cos I would have preferred cash too.
When asked how I used to spend yesterday of yesteryears, when I had a boyfriend, I simply spoke the truth - can't remember. I doubt I ever truly celebrated valentine's day. Cept for when I was 18, with my JC mates, all gals. Six of us, if I remember right.
Then again, it's not that I don't give two shit about the day. Otherwise, there would have been no effort at the linguini, right? Except, cooking for someone is something that I do enjoy once in one-and-half blue moon. But I just like to be sure that it's not something that would take too long to cook, or too smelly in my hair, or too oily, or too expensive ingredients. It's all those details that I hate, you see. haha... I think that's why I've always liked steamboat as a party dish. Just chop everything up, take it out of fridge when your guests are ready to eat and then, each does his/her own cooking. It's clean, simple, healthy and well, fun when you see friends trying to chew on something that he/she overcooked or undercooked, trying not to look like a 'Yan can do it; but I can't'. Right?
We did, however, go out for dinner. My dad, having revived the romantic in him after almost 30 years of marriage, decided to take my mum out and hence, the rest of us leeches. haha... But, the best part would be his V-gift for my mum - a second-hand bicycle with a nice but slightly rusty basket in front and a... erm... arrangement of pandan leaves and a drying up purple flower.
Maybe when I'm his age, I would be as romantic as this too. For now, I'm quite satisfied with linguini and salad and the creativity of a nice 'diamond' ring.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 15:39
February 10, 2006
As inconspicuous as it getsI think, the thing is, sometimes, I still think that it's so easy to find someone to replace who I am. I mean, how difficult can that be? People come, people go and people get forgotten.
I know that the goodness, the kindness of you, of who you are, the very elements for me to want to hold on to, are not just mine to possess, not just mine to benefit from. Because I have to share. But, I've never learnt to share with so many other people who could see what I could see, who could appreciate what I could appreciate, who would want what I have if only they have more guts.
That's why sometimes, even I myself don't think it's funny. Because sometimes, to hear it from my own mouth makes a possibility all the more real to me. But, there seems no other reasonable way to dispel the feeling of not wanting to share you.
This is a very tricky thing indeed.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 00:19
February 09, 2006
Dear so-and-soDo you know one of the most important things about handling children like them really is the word 'consistency'? For those who are not behaving because of an incapability to, consistency helps to assure them, to give them some form of prediction and positive associative learning. If I do this 1 time, I get a positive recognition, it means I do it 10 times, I will also get it. If I do it 100 times, well, then it becomes a habit. Presto! 1 good behaviour learnt. For those who are not behaving because of their choice not to, consistency helps to assure them too! Assure that their choice is a bad choice the 1st time, will be a bad choice the 2nd time, 3rd, 4th, and hopefully, they soon learn to see their choice is just not going to get them what they want.
It's a really simple idea, honestly. I mean, lab mice understand it! duh!
So, why is it that certain educators who claim to be more professional than many others do not get it? Certain educators who sit in the leader positions in an environment as delicate as this do not advocate this standard like they should, and like they preach? Why are they giving in to students whose only disorder seems to be a misused and abused high IQ? Students who not only
can read body language and can manipulate minds too. It's pathetic. Because if you ask me for my not so humble opinion, I think educators who allow themselves to be manipulated by their own students are the most failed of the lot.
I do not believe there is any space for negotiation when it comes to students or children throwing tantrums to get their way. How the hell do you tell a kid like that who's boss when you give in to their emotional blackmail? It's not even emotional. It's simply behavioural.
Can't stand their screaming? Can't take their kicking? Get help! Pull them up and drop them in the middle of the field and shout at the sky. Trust me, the sky will be able to take it. Do it a few more times, you see if they don't get it!
I mean, honestly, how difficult is it to manage a team of 60 staff and hundreds of students with just 3 persons? Very difficult. How difficult is it to manage a team of 60 staff and hundreds of students with just 3 persons who can't seem to iron out a consistent standard, expectation and protocol? Absolutely suicidal. Not on the 3 persons, but on the 60 staff. It's just, un, fair.
It's ridiculous, it's sheer crap, it's just a lot of 'what the fuck?!'
And, I'm an outsider. But, hey! My girlfriend's suffering! I'm angry, and I do not like it.
So, hear! There's no dream to come true when you can't even wake up to reality!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 00:30
From a programming point of viewHave you ever thought about if you were to become a parent one day, what kind of parent would you be?
I started thinking about this question somewhere in my uni years. I don't know what spurred this line of thought in me but something did. Maybe it's just yet another kind of thing I started myself thinking about after seeing a bawling kid with a helpless mother on the MRT.
Whatever it is, I've openly apologised for being the kind of mother that I would be. I told whoever that will bother to believe me, that I already start feeling sorry for my kids when I think about what kind of mother I would be.
Obviously, I will take the role of the disciplinarian between the parents. Because, I can't stand nonsense and a lack of manners from any kid. I won't claim that I was brought up with the best manners, but hey, I think the child of me is far more polite and pleasant than many kids these days.
Obviously, if you are going to try blackmailing me with your tears and bawling and your tantrums to get your way, sorry, kiddo, wrong tree. Because I happen to be someone who has this serious need to be seriously consistent. Meaning, if I state a condition and an expectation for my kid to behave so he/she gets what he/she wants, you can definitely expect that I mean what I said. Forget about embarassing me in public because I will not give two shit about it. I always think ignoring a kid is the best way to show that their ploy of getting you to give in will not work. In fact, I believe and apply that to adults too.
Of course, having said all these, I still think that a child is born like a white, clean piece of paper. What goes into their hard disk is very much what the parents programme into them. So, you can see that it's a very stressful thing for me to ever become a parent. I mean, honestly, if my child fails, I don't think it's his/her fault. It's really my fault. My fault as a lousy programmer.
Hence, I think I will just stick to using ready-built computers instead of building them myself. At least, if it crashes completely, I can just point the finger at someone else and say, 'what's wrong with you?' - sounds much better than 'what's wrong with myself?!'
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 00:09
February 02, 2006
我 想 说 的 是 ...农 历 新 年 就 是 这 样 。。。
。。。“Wah! 你 们 都 好 命 了，女 儿 都 这 么 大 了。几 时 做 阿 公 、阿 嬷？”
。。。“Wah, 真 的 是 越 大 越 漂 亮，几 时 要 请 auntie 喝 喜 酒？”
。。。“有 男 朋 友，没 有？ 几 时 结 婚？”
。。。“现 在 在 那 里 做 工？ 还 没 有 要 结 婚？”
。。。“你 们 俩 都 好 命 lah，很 快 的，多 两 年 就 抱 孙 了。。。”
。。。“唉 呀，老 了 老 了，现 在 都 是 孩 子 的 世 界 了。”
。。。“那 里 还 青 春 ？ 都 老 了。你 才 是 青 春 lah 。。。”
所 以，时 间 是 某 些 人 的 朋 友，却 也 是 敌 人。
而 无 业 游 民 的 我，时 间 多 得 很！
xxx
这 里 多 几 个 星 期 摆 喜 酒，那 里 多 几 个 月 嫁 女 儿； 这 里 刚 拿 到 新 屋 子，那 里 在 申 请 拿 屋 子。 一 年 到 头， 又 是 红 事， 也 有 白 事。 到 了 农 历 新 年 就 来 个 记 录 大 翻 新。 互 相 update, update 一 下，话 题 就 多 了 起 来。 偶 尔 也 谈 谈 政 治，谈 谈 那 个 不 是人 的 老 板，再 嘘 寒 问 暖 一 下 那 些 远 地 不 能 再 远 的 远 亲。
大 人 的 话 题， 我 这 个 小 大 人 不 太 感 兴 趣， 也 不 易 太 了 解。 我 到 处 跟， 到 处 都 希 望 碰 上 一 炉 热 腾 腾 的 火 锅。 吃 火 锅， 最 重 要 还 是 汤 底。 汤 底 不 够 好，什 么 山 珍 海 味 吃 地 都 不 起 劲； 汤 底 够 劲， 单 喝 汤 我 都 很 happy 了。
慢 慢 长 大， 经 济 独 立， 农 历 新 年 的 气 氛 也 越 来 越 淡 薄 了。 以 前 父 母 花 钱 买， 又 是 汽 水， 又 是 甜 点， 还 有 一 盒 盒 的 应 节 小 吃， 都 是 级 品。 换 到 自 己 买， 其 实 质 地 更 好， 却 统 统 怕 肥， 怕 燥 热， 蜻 蜓 点 水 地 吃， 就 希 望 客 人 来 帮 帮 忙 消 掉 一 点 。 一 年 到 头 都 有 得 吃， Bengawan Solo 一 大 堆！ 同 样 的 食 物， 气 氛 就 少 了 许 多。 原 来， 年 纪 大， 就 是 有 些 东 西， 有 些 感 觉 少 了； 病 多 了， 皱 纹 多 了， 害 怕 的 多 了。 问 题 少 了， 问 不 问 也 无 所 谓； 答 案 少 了， 怎 么 答 都 不 对。
就 是 差 不 多 这 样 lah!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:38